One of the biggest tips specific to people in Singapore looking to date more successfully and enter good relationships is to be more blunt. Let me explain further below.
Firstly, due to our Asian upbringing and general conservative culture in Singapore, most locals are taught to be kind with their words to others, even if you seriously dislike the other person’s actions. While that sounds good in theory and on paper, this soon results in things like backstabbing or gossiping – which can be particularly prevalent in Asian cultures. Those do nothing good for you when it comes to relationships as it can lead to confusion on both parties.
For instance, one party may like the other party, but not the other way around. However, because of one party pretending to like and fancy the other when they cannot even stand the sight of the other person, the other party is given false hope. While it can happen to others this day, and you may not care about it, you certainly do not want people to waste your time this way if they did it on you. So let us all do everyone else and including yourselves a favour by always being blunt when it comes to dating.
Secondly, being blunt is also useful because sometimes the other party may be doing something unknowingly and are willing to change it but because you did not tell them about it, they continue doing it and piss you off. Let me give you an example. Perhaps you do not like others who shake their legs incessantly. Maybe your date is doing it. In that case, tell them politely and upfront that you do not appreciate it. That way, they are aware of it and – they may stop it, or they may continue. If they continue, and it happens to be your pet peeve, then do not bother meeting that person ever again! If they stop, which they sometimes do because some people shake their legs or do such habits unknowingly, but are perfectly alright with stopping that habit altogether, then you can continue! See – the key is not to try to change the other party, nor to appear rude, but to make things clear upfront so that there will be no pent up or built up anger in future, which will be far more disastrous.
The above examples I mentioned are just ‘casual’ examples when it comes to dating, but it can apply to anything else, which can be far more sensitive and personal pet peeves to you. By being blunt but still polite on day one, you will be able to quickly sieve out non suitable people on day one, instead of only realizing it both ways on appointment number four and get really pissed off.
Some of you may feel like you should not be blunt because you are worried that the person sitting across you on your date will be the last suitable candidate for you, then you may want to read our post on adopting an abundance mindset too.